The Phantom Toll-Ed
by coolkade
Summary: Eddy was always bored with school, but after he and his friends cross the mysterious tollbooth that was found in his living room, they will go on an amazing adventure that will change Eddy's way of thinking.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, sorry about the stale introduction, this is actually my first time writing a fan fiction. So anyways, I just wanted to try this out and have fun with it. Hope you guys like it.**

Eddy groaned for about the hundredth time today during class. He and his friends, Ed and Edd, just got done taking a test on World War II history and were waiting for their results. As the teacher gave them back their papers, Eddy just looked at the big fat F in disgust. He was actually irritated, but history wasn't the only thing Eddy was having trouble with. In fact, he was failing in all of his classes.

Eddy didn't really seem that any of his classes were worth taking. As he and his friends were walking home to his house to discuss what scam they should do, Eddy just complained about how bored he was at school yet again.

"I just don't see what the point of going to that stupid place is!", said Eddy. "Man, I hate school."

Edd just tried to reason with him, even though he knew that it was pointless. "Oh come now Eddy, surely you jest."

"I say that we should just bust out again tomorrow.", said Eddy.

"Oh, yes, because last time that plan went so well.", said Edd, rolling his eyes rather sarcastically.

"That's right Eddy.", said Ed, "The school will tell Sara, and Sara will tell Mom, and Mom will tell Dad, and Dad will just sit there and watch TV!"

"Awe, what do you guys know?", said Eddy, " I mean, why do we bother even going? Who cares about knowing how to carry a three, or where Brazil is, or how to spell February?"

"How to spell FEBRUARY?!", exclaimed Edd, "Eddy, please, we're in our last year of middle school, and that's third grade English."

"Oh so what, it's the same difference of what I meant!", said Eddy.

When they finally reached the outside of Eddy's house, Edd just stopped arguing and let Eddy have his way for the sake of peace. "Oh finally!", said Eddy, "Let's hurry up and get inside, I've been waiting all day to-", but as Eddy opened the door, he and his friends stopped dead in their tracks and stared at the big red and white striped box in the middle of the living room.

"What do you suppose that is?", asked Eddy.

Once he heard his friend say that, Eddy went to the box and read the card that was attached to it. "To Eddy, who has plenty of time."

After Eddy was done reading, he felt himself being pulled into a tight hug from Ed. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY EDDY!", exclaimed Ed in a rather loud, but happy voice.

"Get off me you big lug!", shouted Eddy, "It's not my birthday, and I Christmas is a long ways away."

"Well, who's it from?", asked Edd.

"How the heck should I know?!", said Eddy, "The stupid card doesn't say."

"Well, aren't you going to open it?", asked Edd, gesturing towards the box.

"Why should I?", asked Eddy, "We're supposed to be coming up with a scam right now."

"Well", said Edd, "it would be rather rude to just leave there untouched. Someone probably wet through a lot of trouble too give you this… well, whatever it supposedly is."

Irritated by his friend's smart remark, well, to him it was at least, Eddy went to the box and pulled the long ribbon off of it. To their surprise, the box unfolded into a big tollbooth with a horn that just appeared out of nowhere.

"Oh my.", said Edd.

Just then, a voice began to boom through the horn. "Greetings Edward!", said the voice.

"Who the heck are you?!", asked Eddy.

"Never mid who I am, that's of no importance!", said the voice, "Right now, you have the chance to go on an amazing adventure! All you have to do is drive through your brand new Phantom Tollbooth!"

"Phantom Toll-what?", asked Eddy, "Wait, hold on. Drive?! What are we supposed to drive with?!"

After Eddy asked this question, a small red car just popped out of nowhere, just like the horn.

"Now, if you will just hop in and choose your destination on the map,", said the voice, "please kindly pay the toll with one of the coins in the glove box, and you're free to go, you can also bring your two companions if you wish!"

"Fine," said Eddy, "anything to get you to shut up." And Eddy just hopped in the driver's side of the car and read the map. He was scanning the map until his eyes stopped on "The Castle in the Air". Eddy's eyes grew big at the word "castle". He was thinking that since there were castles, there was money, and he planned on making money today.

"Hop on boys!", said Eddy, "We're going to The Castle in the Air!"

"Excellent choice!", boomed the voice.

"I call shotgun!", exclaimed Ed as he hopped in the car.

"Wait.", said Edd, "Don't either of you find this a bit odd? The tollbooth doesn't even go anywhere, and we're too young to drive!"

"Things aren't always as they seem my young friend!", said the voice, "How else do you think the horn and the car appeared?!"

"Well,", Edd thought for a moment, the he just sighed. "I suppose the tollbooth might go somewhere after all."

"So does that mean you're coming, Double Dee?", asked Eddy.

"Oh, I'm not sure.", said Edd, " I mean-".

"Well, Eddward, make up your mind!", demanded the voice, "Going or staying?!"

"Well", Edd began to think again, then after about a minute or two, he finally made his decision and hopped in the passenger seat right next to Ed. "I suppose it won't be the worst thing I've ever done."

"Yeaaaah!", exclaimed Ed.

"Good!", said the voice, "Now that that's settled, let's get started!"

Right after Eddy slipped in the unknown coin through the slot, the bar on the tollbooth rose up, allowing the Eds to drive through this new mysterious land.

"This have better be the real deal.", said Eddy.

**Well, what do guys think? I know, this chapter didn't have much, but there will be more stuff in the way. I promise you.**


	2. Chapter 2

Hey, I sort of new to this whole fan fic thing, so try not to judge to harshly please. And I know what you're probably thinking, sometimes I wince whenever I sound too needy. But, any who, enjoy the chapter.

When the Eds crossed through the tollbooth, they didn't really know what to think of it anymore. Instead of reaching the other side of the living room, it disappeared and they were driving along a path in between trees that make up a forest. After what seemed like almost a half an hour of driving, Eddy caught a glimpse of Edd's look of puzzlement in the corner of his eye.

"Hey, what's the matter Sock-head?", asked Eddy.

"It's…", said Edd, "it's just that don't you still find this a bit odd. Here we are, just driving in car that we got from some complete stranger communicating with us through a horn on a tollbooth that you literally just unwrapped, and going to a place that we never even heard of. Why are you so anxious to go there anyway Eddy?"

"Duh!", Eddy gave his friend a look of indulgence, "The place we're going to probably has wads of cash just waiting for us to take them back home!"

"How could be so certain that it has money Eddy?", asked Edd.

"Um, hello!", said Eddy, "_The _**Castle **_in. The. Air! _Everyone knows that castles have cash. Why do you think that the people who live in them are called royalty?"

"Eddy, have you even thought this through?!", said Edd, "You always do this. Every time that you think that you have a chance of getting what you want, you just go and jump to conclusions in the next five seconds! Even if what you just said is true, how do you plan on even pulling it off?!"

"The same way I always pull stuff off smart guy.", retorted Eddy, "We'll just figure it out as we go. Now stop whining and read the map to know which way to go."

Edd rolled his eyes at him, but once again, he let Eddy have his own way and unfolded the map.

"Oooo, colorful!", said Ed.

"Indeed.", inquired Edd, "They certainly have a way of naming things here."

"What are you talking about?", demanded Eddy.

"I mean, I just don't know any other places with names such as these.", said Edd, "Listen to this. Mountains of Ignorance, The Doldrums, Dictionopolis."

"Diction what?", asked Eddy, "That's sounds like something off of one of your comic books Mono-brow."

"Cool.", said Ed.

"Well,", said Edd, "this map doesn't really seem to say which way to go, but I have a hunch that we should go through Dictionopolis to get to The Castle in the Air."

"So how do we get to Dictionopolis?", asked Eddy.

Edd began thinking then something that looked like a building caught his eye.

"Stop here.", said Edd. When they stopped, they were in front of a small house with a bell right in front of the front yard. Eddy began to read the sign right above it.

"Ring for information.", said Eddy.

"Well.", Inquired Edd, "You are the closest to the bell.

"Geez.", complained Eddy, "I have to do everything around here!" After his complaint, Eddy rang the bell.

In an instant, a short man that kept releasing balloons rushed through the front door and stood right in front of them.

"My my my my my.", said the man very rapidly. "Welcome welcome welcome. We don't get a lot of visitors here. We certainly don't get a lot visitors here. You may call me the weather man."

Eddy gave his friends a look of loss. "Is he for real?", he asked.

"Um, yes well,", said Edd to the weather man, "we were wondering if you knew the road to Dictionopolis."

"Dictionopolis?", asked the weather man, "Well, I don't know any wrong road to Dictionopolis. If it isn't, then it must be the right road. And if it isn't, then it must be the right road to somewhere. By the way, do any of you know if it'll rain?"

"Wait!", said Eddy, "You just said that you were the weather man!"

"Oh non no no no." said the weather man, and then he released a balloon that had the word _whether _on it. "I'm the _whether _man, not the weather man."

"Right, well,", said Edd, trying his best to not insult the odd whether man, "we're just going to move along now."

When the Eds drove away, they could hear the whether man saying in good bye in many different ways.

"Bye-bye! Tah-tah! Farewell! So long!"

"Man, that was annoying.", said Eddy.

"I'm with you.", agreed Edd, "It's as though he doesn't want to stay focused on one thing. It's as though he just likes about everything that seems positive and seems to have a synonym to it."

"That's it then." said Eddy, "Next time we ask for directions, you can do all the talking."

"I'll keep that in mind Eddy.", said Edd.

Still more to come after this.


	3. Chapter 3

**Me again, sorry it took so long but you know how it is right. Enjoy!**

All three Eds were silent for the rest of the trip after their strange encounter with the whether man. So for a long time they drove mile, after mile, after mile. Soon everything around them started to change. The sky became gray and the whole country side seemed to have lost its color. This just seemed too add to Eddy's boredom. After a while, the car was beginning to slow down, then it just stopped and couldn't budge.

"What the…?!", said Eddy, "Come on you piece of junk!"

"The car must not really like you Eddy.", said Ed.

"Aww shut up.", said Eddy, who was becoming irritated.

"There's no need to be so rude, Eddy.", said Edd, "I wonder where we are."

"You're… in… the… Dol… drums.", wailed a voice that sounded very far away.

"Gasp, who said that?!", exclaimed Edd.

"Yes… the… Dol… drums.", yawned another voice, but the Eds still saw no one.

"WILL SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT THE HECK THE DOLDRUMS ARE!", exclaimed Eddy, becoming very impatient.

"The Doldrums, my young friends, are where nothing ever happens and nothing ever changes."

This time the voice came from so close that both Eds jumped with surprise, for, sitting on Eddy's right shoulder; so lightly that he hardly noticed, was a small creature exactly the color of his shirt.

"Aww gross, what is that?!", said Eddy.

"Allow me to introduce all of us.", said the creature, "We are the Lethargarians, at your service."

The Eds looked around and they saw other Lethargarians like the one on Eddy's shoulder. On the car, on the roadside, on the trees, all of them looked alike except they were the exact color of the objects they were laying on.

"Umm, it's very nice to meet all of you.", said Edd, "I think we're lost, can you help us?"

"Don't say 'think'.", said the Lethargarian on Edd's shoe, for the one on Eddy's shoulder had fallen asleep. "Thinking is against the law in the Doldrums."

"No one's allowed to think in the Doldrums.", said a third, who was beginning to doze off.

"That's ridiculous.", said Edd, "Everybody thinks."

"We don't!", shouted the Lethargarians all at once.

"And most of the time some of you don't either.", said a yellow one sitting on a daffodil. "That's why you're here. One of you wasn't thinking, and one of you wasn't paying attention either. People who don't pay attention often get stuck in the Doldrums." And with that, he toppled out of the flower and fell snoring on the grass.

After the Lethargarian fell on the grass, Eddy started to laugh hysterically at him. "Oh man, what a total klutz!"

"Stop that at once!", ordered the Lethargarian on Ed's jacket sleeve, "Laughing is also against the law in the Doldrums."

"What?!", said Eddy, "Man, what a boring place."

"Well, if you can't laugh or think, then what can you do in the Doldrums?", asked Edd.

"Anything as long as it's nothing, and everything as long as it isn't anything.", explained another, "There's lots to do; we have a very busy schedule. At 8 o'clock we get up, and the we spend from 8 to 9 daydreaming. From 9 to 9:30 we take our early midmorning nap. From 9:30 to 10:30 we dawdle and delay. From 10:30 to 11:30 we take our late early morning nap. From 11:30 to 12:30 we bide our time and then eat lunch. From 1:00 to 2:00 we linger and loiter. From 2:00 to 2:30 we take our early afternoon nap. From 2:30 to 3:30 we put off for tomorrow what we could have done today. From 3:30 to 4:00 we take our early late afternoon nap. From 4:00 to 5:00 we loaf and lounge until dinner. From 6:00 to 7:00 we dillydally. From 7:00 to 8:00 we take our early evening nap, and then for an hour before we go to bed at 9:00 we waste time.

"As you can see, that leaves almost no time for brooding, lagging, plodding, or procrastinating, and if we stopped to think or laugh, we'd never get nothing done."

"You mean you'd never get anything done.", corrected Edd.

"We don't want to get anything done,", snapped another angrily, "we want to get nothing done, and we can do that without your help."

"You see,", continued another in a more conciliatory tone, "it's really quite strenuous doing nothing all day, so once a week we take a holiday and g nowhere, which was just where we were when you three came along. Would you care to join us?"

"In your dreams nap boy.", said Eddy, "Man, does everyone do nothing around here?"

"Everyone but the terrible watchdog.", said two of the Lethargarians, shuddering in chorus. "He's always sniffing around to see that nobody wastes time. An unpleasant character."

"The watchdog?", asked Edd.

"Cool, he must kind of be like their villain form a comic book I read once.", commented Ed.

"THE WATCHDOG!", shouted one of the Lethargarians, fainting from fright, for racing down the road barking furiously and kicking up a great cloud of dust was the dog they were speaking of."

"RUN!"

"WAKE UP!"

"HERE HE COMES!"

"THE WATCHDOG!"

The Lethargarians were running around in panic, until at last they disappeared.

"Woof, woof, woof!", exclaimed the watchdog as he jumped into the car, loudly puffing and panting.

The Eds were truly amazed by the watchdog's appearance. It was large with a perfectly normal head, four feet, a tail, and a loud ticking alarm clock for a body.

"What are you doing here?", growled the watchdog.

"My lord, it talks!", said Edd.

"Umm, I don't know.", said Eddy. "I guess we're just killing time."

"KILLING TIME?!", roared the dog, so furiously that his alarm went off, "It's bad enough that so many people today are wasting time instead of killing it. Why are you three in the Doldrums anyway, don't you have some other place to go?"

"Well, we were on our way to Dictionopoplis.", said Edd, "Can you help us?"

"Help you?", said the dog, carefully winding himself with his left hind leg, "Your friend in front of the steering wheal has to be the one to help you."

"Why me?", complained Eddy.

"Because you are the one driving.", said the dog, "Now tell me, how did you get here?"

"Umm, I guess from not thinking.", said Eddy.

"PRECISELY!", exclaimed the watchdog, "Now you know what you must do."

"Actually,", began Eddy, "no, I don't."

"Well,", said the watchdog impatiently, "since you got here by not thinking, it's only reasonable that you get here by thinking immediately."

"He does have a point Eddy.", said Edd.

Before Eddy could say something to Edd, the watchdog hopped in the backseat of the car. "Do you mind if I come along?", asked the dog, "I love automobile rides."

"Of course not,", said Edd, "we could really use some help from someone that's from here."

"Splendid.", said the dog with glee.

"Well Eddy.", said Edd.

"Oh man.", groaned Eddy. He didn't know what to think of at first. But then in his head he started to see birds that swim and fish that fly. Eddy also started thinking of the scam he wanted to pull today. After he started think about anything that comes to kind, the car began to move very slowly.

"Sweet, we're moving finally.", said Eddy.

"Well don't stop now.", said the watchdog.

"You heard him Eddy.", said Ed.

Eddy started to think of slugging the watchdog, but he was afraid of what he might do to him if he did. Soon all of the color that was lost before returned all around the Eds and their newcomer.

"You must excuse my gruff conduct,", said the watchdog after a while, "but you see it's traditional for watchdogs to be ferocious."

"I guess that sounds reasonable.", said Edd.

"Oh oh.", exclaimed Ed all of a sudden, "My name's Ed."

"Oh, I forgot that we didn't even get acquainted.", said Edd, "My name is Edd also, but you may call me Double Dee, since my name has two Ds." Edd then thumped Eddy in the arm after five seconds of silence.

"And I'm Eddy, pleased to meet ya.", gruffed Eddy rather rudely.

"Ed, Edd n Eddy,", said the watchdog, "now that's strange for three boys to have the same name and also be friends with each other. But who am I to say that. Well, you may call me Tock."

"But,", said Edd, "you just go ticktick instead of tocktock. So shouldn't your name be-"

"Don't say it!", interrupted Tock. A tear started to travel down his face a second later.

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings Tock.", said Edd, "It's just that I…", he was lost for words.

"It's alright.", said Tock, "It's an old and sad story, but I can tell you. When my brother was born, the first pup in the family, my parents were so overjoyed and immediately named him Tick in expectation of the sound they were sure he'd make. On first winding him, they discovered to their horror that, instead of going ticktick, he went tocktock. They rushed to the Hall of Records to change the name, but it was too late. It had already been officially inscribed, and nothing could be done. When I arrived, they were determined not to make the same mistake twice and, since it seemed logical that all their children would make th same sound, they named me Tock. Of course, you three know the rest, my brother is called Tick because he goes ticktick, and I am called Tock because I go ticktick, and both of us are forever burdened with the wrong names. My parents were so overwrought that they gave up on having any more children and devoted their lives to doing good work among the poor and the hungry."

"Wow, I guess that is a sad story.", admitted Eddy, who seemed to have started feeling sorry for Tock.

Edd was surprised at this, then he asked Tock, "But how did you become a watchdog?"

"That is also traditional.", said Tock, "My family have always been watchdogs. From father to son, almost since time began. You see, once there was no time at all, and people found it very inconvenient. They never knew whether they were eating lunch or dinner, and they were always missing trains. So time was invested to help them keep track of the day and get to places when they should. When they began to count all the time that was available, what with 60 seconds in a minute and 60 minutes in an hour and 24 hours in a day and 365 days in a year, it seemed as if there was much more than there could ever be used. 'If there's so much of it, it couldn't be very valuable', was the general opinion, and it soon fell into disrepute. People wasted it and even gave it away. Then we were given the job of seeing that no one wasted time again." Tock began to sit up proudly. " It's hard work but a noble calling. For you see,", now he was standing on the seat, one foot on the front seat, shouting with his arms outstretched, "it is our most valuable possession, more precious than diamonds. It marches on, it and tide wait for no man, and…"

At that point in the speech the car hit a bump and Tock collapsed with his alarm ringing again.

"Are you alright?", asked Edd.

Tock winded himself again. "Sorry to get carried away, but I think you get the point."

"Yeah.", said Eddy, "Look, sorry for being such a jerk to you earlier. I was just a little confused."

"Apology accepted Eddy.", said Tock, "I'm sure we'll become great friends.

"Me too.", said Eddy.

"Aww, that is so cute.", said Ed.

"Indeed it is Ed.", agreed Edd.

"Oh, what are you two looking at?", said Eddy sarcastically.

**Good right. It's okay if you don't think so. Please feel free to review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey, sorry it took so long, I just had so much stuff to do, like school and work, but the term for my job ended and summer is finally here. Enjoy!**

The Eds and their new friend, Toc, have been driving for a few moments now. Toc had continued to tell them all about the importance of time until something big had caught their attention. A shining, renaissance city surrounded by a very fantastic wall had made all three boys and the dog stare in amazement.

"What is this place?", asked Edd.

"Why, this is the shining city of Dictionopolis.", answered Toc.

"This looks like the castle from **My Prince Charming's A Goblin. **A classic.", added Ed.

"Why does everything have to be a weird movie to you?", asked Eddy.

It wasn't before long that they reached the great wall and stopped at the front gate leading to the city.

"AHEM!", inquired the gateman, and then the whole party gave him their full attention. "This is Dictionopolis, a happy kingdom, advantageously located in the Foothills of Confusion and caressed by gentle breezes from the Sea of Knowledge. Today, by royal proclamation, is market day. Have you come to buy or sell?"

"I beg your pardon?", said Edd.

"Geez, this guy talks just as big as Double Dee.", thought Eddy.

"Buy or sell, buy or sell.", repeated the gateman impatiently. "Which is it? You must have come here for some reason."

"Well, we-", Edd began.

"Come now,", interrupted the gateman, "if you don't have a reason, you must at least have an explanation or certainly an excuse."

"Eddy?", asked Edd.

"What? Now I'm supposed to come up with something?", said Eddy.

"Well, you have given our teachers daily excuses whether it was about being late or why you never finished your homework.", said Edd.

"Well you think of something smart guy!", exclaimed Eddy.

"Very serious, very serious.", said the gateman, who was shaking his head at this. "You can't get in without a reason." He thought for a moment and then continued. "Wait a minute; maybe I have an old one you can borrow."

He then took an old suitcase out from the gatehouse and began to dig through it, while Edd and Eddy just gave each other confused looks wondering what he was doing exactly.

"Aww, here we go.", said the gateman, and then he handed Eddy a medallion on a chain. Eddy dusted it off and engraved on one side were the words "WHY NOT?"

"That's a good reason for almost anything- a bit used, but still useful.", said the gateman, then he took the medallion back and placed it around Eddy's neck. Then he opened the gate and motioned them to go in.

"This actually looks kind of good on me.", said Eddy while they were driving along.

"That's basically what you say about all of your flashy jewelry.", said Edd.

"Jealous?", asked Eddy in retaliation.

As they were driving they saw a number of colorful tents, crowds of long lines and a large banner that said "WELCOME TO THE WORD MARKET."

"The "_word_" market?", questioned Edd, "Excuse me but don't they mean the "world" market?"

"No no my young friend.", Toc chuckled, "They literally mean the word market."

Before Toc could explain, five tall and thin gentlemen dressed in satin all came up to them bowing simultaneously and looked straight at them.

"Greetings!"

"Salutations!"

"Welcome!"

"Good afternoon!"

"Hello!"

All three boys had very perplexed looks on their faces, and then the five men began to read from rolled up scrolls.

"By order of Azaz the Unabridged-"

"King of Dictionopolis-"

"Monarch of letters-"

"Emperor of phrases, sentences, and miscellaneous figures of speech-"

"We offer you the hospitality of our kingdom-"

"Country,"

"Nation,"

"State,"

"Commonwealth,"

"Realm,"

"Empire,"

"Palatinate,"

"Principality."

"Awww, you guys are giving me a headache!", complained Eddy, "This just makes me wanna leave faster!"

"Umm,", said Edd, "what my friend is trying to say is that is it really necessary to be using a synonym repeatedly?"

"Cinnamon, does it come with gravy and buttered toast!?", asked Ed.

"No! Not cinnamon Ed. Sy-no-nym.", explained Edd.

"Of course."

"Certainly."

"Precisely."

"Exactly."

"Yes.", the men replied in order.

"Wouldn't it be more simpler to use just one word?", asked Edd, "Wouldn't make more sense?"

"You know Sockhead, for once I agree with you.", said Eddy.

"Nonsense."

"Ridiculous."

"Fantastic."

"Absurd."

"Bosh.", they chorused again, and continued.

"We're not interested in making sense; it's not our job.", scolded the first.

"Besides," explained the second, "one word is as good as another, so why not use them all?"

"Then you don't have to choose which one is right.", advised the third.

"Besides," sighed the fourth, "if one is right, then ten are ten times as right."

"Obviously you don't know who we are," sneered the fifth, and then they presented themselves one by one.

"The Duke of Definition."

"The Minister of Meaning."

"The Earl of Essence."

"The Count of Connotation."

"Right.", said Eddy, "We're just gonna move along now."

As soon as the five men were out of ear shot, the boys and the dog got out pf the car and began to walk around.

"Man, and I thought that whether guy was annoying.", complained Eddy.

"Patience Eddy, that's all it takes.", advised Edd.

"Well said Eddward.", agreed Toc.

"Ohhh, to heck with you guys.", said Eddy

**I know it may not seem good, but hey, nobody's perfect.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey party people! Here's the new chapter!**

As the boys were walking, they saw crowds of people either shouting over stalls or pushing and shoving to either buy, sell, trade or bargain.

"Get your fresh-picked "ifs", "ands", and "buts."

"Hey-yaa, nice ripe "wheres" and "whens."

"Juicy, tempting words for sale."

"So, isn't there like anything else or is that it?", asked Eddy.

"I thought I already explained this to you three, the "_Word"_ market sells words.", answered Toc.

"Hmm, maybe you can buy the words you need for the signs we make for your tedious scams. That way you won't misspell the most obvious words anymore Eddy.", said Edd.

"Perhaps I could be of assistance. A-S-S-I-S-T-A-N-C-E.", cried a very unknown but cheerful voice.

"Oh what now?", complained Eddy.

"GIANT FLYING ALIEN!", exclaimed Ed.

When the other two boys turned their heads, a giant bee , the exact size of an ordinary door came flying their way.

"WHAT THE HECK?!", asked Eddy.

"LET US GO GENTLEMEN!", Edd panicked.

"Eddward calm down, it's just the Spelling Bee.", Toc tried to reason with the scared trio of twelve year olds.

"That I am.", said the Spelling Bee, "Don't be alarmed. A-L-A-R-M-E-D."

"The Spelling Bee?", asked Edd.

"Yes.", answered the bee. "I can spell anything. A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G."

"Can you spell "go away"?", said Eddy.

"Must you be so rude Eddy?", asked Edd.

"What?", said Eddy, "He's more annoying than the spelling bees that you win every year Double Dee."

Edd just sighed. "Well, can you also spell everything?", he asked the bee.

"Well, I suppose.", said the bee.

"Oh Balderdash!", boomed another voice, and from another direction stepped a large beetle like insect dressed in a lavish coat, striped pants, checked vest, spats, a derby hat, and a cane in his left hand. "Come now, don't be ill-mannered. Isn't someone going to introduce me to these boys?"

"This," , said the Spelling Bee with disdain, "is the Humbug. A very dislikable fellow."

"NONSENSE! Everyone loves a Humbug.", shouted the Humbug. "Now, as I was saying to the king the other day-"

"You've never even met the king!", shouted the bee. "You're nothing but an imposter- I-M-P-O-S-T-E-R, who can't even spell his own name!"

"Oh join the club.", though Edd to himself, and gave a quick look to Eddy.

"Is that so?", said the Humbug, "Well the, UNGUARD!"

"Oh no.", said Edd.

The Humbug swung his cane at the Spelling Bee, and the Spelling Bee hit the cane with his stinger, much like a sword. As they were fighting, the Humbug's cane knocked over a box of letters o a nearby stall. It wasn't long the two eventually knocked over another stall and that started further damage to the rest of the market. By the time they were done, everyone was in shock and words and letters were scattering all over the place, and Toc was so startled that his alarm went off again.

"Yeah, it's snowing!", said Ed.

"Well this is just great.", said Eddy sarcastically.

"Indeed.", agreed Edd, "They were so focused on themselves that they didn't even think about how their conflict could affect everyone and everyone else."

"I do regret going through that tollbooth now.", said Eddy.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey you guys, sorry that it took so long again. I hope you enjoy this one though.**

The entire market was in complete chaos. Everyone was frantically searching and trying to organize everything while words and letters were scattering everywhere like butterflies fluttering south for the winter.

"And I thought your scams ended this badly Eddy.", commented Edd.

"Ahh what do you know Sockhead?", asked Eddy in retaliation.

"GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY! I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE LOOK SO GUILTY! STOP RIGHT THERE OR I'LL ARREST THE LOT OF YA!", cried a loud obnoxious voice that would put both Eddy's and Ed's younger sister Sarah's to shame. Within a split second everyone made way for a short, round man, about half of Eddy's height, wearing a bright blue policeman's uniform.

"Who the heck is this supposed to be?!",, asked Eddy.

"That's Officer Shortshrift to you buster!", said the short pompous man. "I figured it would be a boy, and three at that, with a dog no less. Boys are always causing trouble."

"Us?", asked Eddy in shock, "What are you talking about? It was those two overgrown bugs that wrecked everything, not us!"

"SILENCE!", shouted Shortshrift, "You are just making things worse for yourself!" Shortshrift then reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a pen and notebook. "Offensive attitude towards authority.", he said carefully as he wrote in his notebook.

"But sir, for once my friend is being sincere.", Edd tried to explain carefully to the officer. "We were just passing through. This is all just a grave misunderstanding."

"Quiet you.", Shortshrift didn't really seem to pay attention. "Do not speak until you are spoken to. Now I have some questions to ask of you. Where were you on July 25th?"

Edd and Eddy were quite taken back by this first question. "July 25th?", Edd was the first to respond, "What on Earth does that have to do with anything?"

"Have to do with anything?", answered Shortshrift, "Why, it's my birthday. It's got everything to do with anything. Ohh, boys are always forgetting other people's birthdays."

"Oh cry me a river. We don't even know you!", said Eddy.

"Just couldn't wait to speak first, could you?", said Shortshrift, "Now, would you like a short sentence, or a long sentence?"

"No low Joe. Sentences give me gas.", said Ed.

"Wait.", said Edd, "You can't do that. Only a judge can give us a sentence.", Edd recalled from a book he read on justice.

"You're right.", Shortshrift then took off his hat and replaced with a powdered wig. "I am also a judge."

"Um, well then I suppose a short one, if we have a choice.", said Edd before Ed or Eddy could say or do anything else.

"Right.", Shortshrift then scribbled in his notebook, then he tore off a piece of paper, which he handed to Edd. When he read it, all there was on the paper were simple words "_I am_".

"How about it?", asked Shortshrift, "It's about the shortest sentence I know. Now to send all four of you to jail.

"You can't do that either. Only a jailer can do that.", Edd recalled something from the same book he read.

"Correct again.", Shortshrift then replaced his pen and notebook with a ring of keys. "I am also a jailer."

"Ohh, way to go Double Dee.", said Eddy in a low voice.

"What?", asked Edd in the same volume, "It's not my fault that their justice system is completely obsolete."

"Oh, I'm afraid Dictionopolis hasn't had a good justice system ever since the old king died.", said Toc.

"Then this should be fun.", Edd sarcastically commented as they were being escorted to prison for something they were not responsible for, for once.

**And the drama continues. Feel free to comment and tell me what you think.**


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